Nailed it... Full circle

Halfway

Halfway


Sometimes you have to get down the line and just say what you will stand for and what you will not, period. We can't expect other people to always understand the things we are not saying. Not everyone is capable of doing that. (as long as we really mean what we say) There was a saying that; " if you can't understand my silence then you probably won't understand my words." however, why not try something different? why not try to speak, why not give it a try? Then decide... ( we can't expect other people to understand us when we don't understand them. How do they understand things, etc.) This is not however to lose yourself in the process but to have a better understanding of yourself and the people around you... After all, we are not living for ourselves alone. We are all connected one way or another.

How about those who are on the louder side of things? I also say, why not try something different? Surrender and let that self-love be your guide. Try to be in the space of silence as others, then decide... Were you able to understand them? Were you able to gain or lose something in surrendering? I guess, if you come from love you'll gain a lot and understand a lot of things. However, also know what you'll stand for and not and make them clear to others. In words and in silence.

There may be others who'll be completely on the left side of things, other on the right side of things. But if we really do love and realize that we are all one, and that there's unity in diversity, maybe, just maybe, we can all meet halfway... I'd walk halfway through...will you? Well if not, my heart never gets tired and she just whispers, she's got other plans! Much love ^_~

I love you

I love you! I love sleeping at night knowing I've known you through my day. I love waking up in the morning knowing there is someone like you out there. I love living in this moment, knowing this is the only time I can own~ not some distant future or almost forgotten past. And for whatever it's worth, know that this isn't some complex ideas/feelings etc. This is as simple as anyone can get it. And for whatever my love may mean to you- I love you!


Sometimes I'm torn between saying I love the person and not. For the only reason of being misunderstood. But later in life I realized that saying how you really feel brings more joy to your heart. That I'd rather tell people I love them than go on with life without telling them how much they mean to me and what difference they made in my life. Of course you don't always get the same response for each person. But your heart always feels glad when you say your truth. I always believe our feelings never lie- they don't know how. So, I've often trusted my gut feelings about people. I'm not always right though. Lol! But, I've learned to trust my heart. Because after all, it has always kept me safe no matter what!


When I say I love you, I don't expect you to love me too. I have my own feelings and my own heart and it's not the same as yours. And I am just telling you how I feel. Maybe tomorrow I won't love you. But today I do. And since every tomorrow comes today, and I love you today- for me that reality is more than enough and so, I love you!

Silence Yourself ~ a collaboration with Bill Schultz

Silence Yourself
A collaboration with Bill Schultz


In a world of confusion and rage
you will not hear your inner voice chide.
The truth you have lives in a cage,
can you still rise if you don't see a guide?
Share yourself is what you've always tried,
" Share with others", whispered the hard man.
Scared, confused you ask questions like a child,
In Holy quiet, blend and understand

Meeting an accident

I remember reading once, something that goes like, would you do what you are going to do today if you knew this would be your last day on Earth?


Death- I think Steve Jobs hit it right on spot when he said it's the destiny we all share. Even if we know we are going to die, what happens if it's by accident? Unexpected? Sudden? You were just supposed to do something simple and easy that you've done almost all your life and then you meet an accident.. What happens next?


The realization more than ever that life is so dang precious! And the realization that, sometimes, few of us found out that we are not living for ourselves alone. We suddenly thought of our loved ones. What are they going to feel? How much pain would they have to bear of losing you? Some of us are strong enough that we know we never really lose anything or anyone. We carry everything within us. But there are some who will never learn that fact. Some who will have to suffer because of waking up everyday without your physical presence in their lives. Some who will miss your laugh. Those who want to see your crazy antics only you could do best! People who will forever be in love with you and those who will always be loving you.


I just met an accident and I'm fine. But I kinda thought, what would you feel if I suddenly stop messaging you or updating my status or uploading photos or commenting and liking all that you do that connects with my being? And I will never get the chance to tell you I'm dead. And I also told myself why I have forgotten to say how great you are, or that you're beautiful, or handsome or that I love you? Why I just put up everything I have to do believing tomorrow I'd wake up and I could do tomorrow what I've set aside today?


(My neck still hurts, but I think I'm good, headache attacks!!)

But this kinda shake me big time! Not all will read this, but, if you could read this, then probably you really do pay attention into what I say or do. I don't measure or base our friendship through this blog and you reading this... But.... If you could read this, then you probably are interested to what is going on in my mind, my heart and my life and that put a smile on my face. (for those who will never get the chance to read this, oh just let it go.)


If I knew I'm going to die today I would still freakinly go online. Message each and everyone of you. And tell you how much you touched my life. And the remaining, I'm going to spend with my family that are within my reach. Those who can be grasp by my tiny, thin arms and give them the biggest hugs. I'm going to start and end that big hug around Vochelle. Teee hee hee! Much love :)) what I really wanted to say I that, I love you! And I kinda hate myself for passing today into not telling you about it. And that you're an awesome person I am lucky to know. Thank you! Your existence in my life is highly appreciated and will always be remembered. <3 yeah, just want everything covered 'cause accidents are unexpected.

If It Is Meant To Be

What's meant to be always find it's way...

I've always believed that destiny is just an excuse of letting things happen instead of making things happen. But now I don't! Lol! ( okay, being the stubborn me, I would every now and then try to 'force' things my way. Not a good idea always! Lol!)

About seven years ago, I broke up with a good guy. It was my fault. I just left him hanging in there. It was terrible as my heart wanted to sail to the unknown. I was stubborn and inconsiderate. I am impulsive and very reactive. I left without letting him know.


A few days or a week, I received a call from my mom saying this guy had committed a suicide and the mom was asking my mom if she knows why. The guy was in a coma. I was, back then, shaking! I have no idea! I have no idea! I have no idea! Yes! I was soo shocked that I really wanted to come back home. But my friend insisted on to just let it go and what would I do if I am back? I will just be hated anyway! (yeah, yeah, I was like heartless!) He was able to survive and was able to contact my mom. My mom told him to just forget about me 'cause he deserves someone better. And I know he was able to rise above it and get well, but I don't have the heart yet to tell him I was sorry. when I had established myself, like a place to stay, foods, etc. I tried to contact him. No luck. I asked my mom to contact him and tell him I'm sorry. But the number wasn't active anymore. I tried and tried and kept on going back to this friendster account hoping I'd see him. I really wanted to say sorry. But I had no luck. I even searched for him on fb. It took me years to finally stopped and just let things go...


Until one day, someone sent a friend request to me. And he introduced himself. What's even silly is that he just saw my comment from one of the people who is my friend from which he was subscribed to. It was him!!! Oh my goodness!!! It was him! And I don't know how! I don't know how to react! First thing was first. Asked each other how each other had been. And a few more catch ups. And my apologies.


It was like magic! By God's grace through God's perfect time! PERFECT!!!!! I also believe if I had met up with him earlier, I would just cause a lot of hurt on him. Thank goodness that I think God knows I am not capable of hurting this person anymore in anyway. And so, even when I haven't done anything, it just happened! Right before my very eyes, in a day like any other day, an ordinary day. A miracle happened! ( though you and my life is already a miracle in itself) And I don't know what to make up with that but---- God is good!


We do not talk anymore and I feel I could die without any regret for I was able to say my heartfelt apology to this person. But, I am living and that proves I still have a lot of learning to do. I only wish he could find the loveliest girl for him. The one he so rightfully deserves.


In God's perfect time, what's meant to be will always have it's way. And if it's not happening any moment right now-- appreciate the things, people and events this very moment for they could even be greater than the one you wished for. Remember, God knows what we need, he hears what we want, but always delivers what's best for us. <3

P.S.
Having said everything that I have said, also know this is not to tell you that you should just wait and let things happen. (lazy) No! There are those that you can make things happen! You must know when to draw the line. (wisdom and courage)
<3 <3 <3

Child

( For parents - it is very tempting that sometimes we wish we could take all the suffering this world has to offer for our children. If we could, we would definitely do it! But we know that isn't a loving thing to do to our children, for our children by a loving parent. And so we let them learn. ( plus, we really can't do it all the time, lol!) But still, there will always be an enormous shield of love to protect them.)


Child,

When you were born,
your presence was adorned
by your lover, your mother
The one who cared and took over!


Wells in her eyes are overflowing!
For she could no longer contain
the deepest joy from her heart,
drowning in all the pains of her life!


You could turn her into an instant freak,
Or give her an absolute happiness in a quick!
You could make her bend in any form you please,
Still she doesn't mind, if that means to watch you in a bliss!


And she never gets tired, but would sometimes get mad.
But a smile from you, would make her feel glad!
And she never complains, if loving you is the case.
For your mother is a lover that loves relentlessly in any phase!


And so child,
doubt whom you will,
but not your Mom who feels
your pain ten times more than you!


Not the mother who,
would always hold you ever gently,
enveloped with unconditional love,
and surrounded by tender care.


All the pains this world has to offer?
Your mom will always gets you cover!
Drifts of happiness by your existence,
flowing in her heart without resistance!


And child,
though your mother is a worrier,
she is also a warrior! And her life for you, she'll submit.
'Cause on loving you, she fully commits!


Child,

For your mother,
You are priceless like none other!
You are her Heaven here on Earth!
And it will stay like that forever!