Nailed it... Full circle

Halfway

Halfway


Sometimes you have to get down the line and just say what you will stand for and what you will not, period. We can't expect other people to always understand the things we are not saying. Not everyone is capable of doing that. (as long as we really mean what we say) There was a saying that; " if you can't understand my silence then you probably won't understand my words." however, why not try something different? why not try to speak, why not give it a try? Then decide... ( we can't expect other people to understand us when we don't understand them. How do they understand things, etc.) This is not however to lose yourself in the process but to have a better understanding of yourself and the people around you... After all, we are not living for ourselves alone. We are all connected one way or another.

How about those who are on the louder side of things? I also say, why not try something different? Surrender and let that self-love be your guide. Try to be in the space of silence as others, then decide... Were you able to understand them? Were you able to gain or lose something in surrendering? I guess, if you come from love you'll gain a lot and understand a lot of things. However, also know what you'll stand for and not and make them clear to others. In words and in silence.

There may be others who'll be completely on the left side of things, other on the right side of things. But if we really do love and realize that we are all one, and that there's unity in diversity, maybe, just maybe, we can all meet halfway... I'd walk halfway through...will you? Well if not, my heart never gets tired and she just whispers, she's got other plans! Much love ^_~

I love you

I love you! I love sleeping at night knowing I've known you through my day. I love waking up in the morning knowing there is someone like you out there. I love living in this moment, knowing this is the only time I can own~ not some distant future or almost forgotten past. And for whatever it's worth, know that this isn't some complex ideas/feelings etc. This is as simple as anyone can get it. And for whatever my love may mean to you- I love you!


Sometimes I'm torn between saying I love the person and not. For the only reason of being misunderstood. But later in life I realized that saying how you really feel brings more joy to your heart. That I'd rather tell people I love them than go on with life without telling them how much they mean to me and what difference they made in my life. Of course you don't always get the same response for each person. But your heart always feels glad when you say your truth. I always believe our feelings never lie- they don't know how. So, I've often trusted my gut feelings about people. I'm not always right though. Lol! But, I've learned to trust my heart. Because after all, it has always kept me safe no matter what!


When I say I love you, I don't expect you to love me too. I have my own feelings and my own heart and it's not the same as yours. And I am just telling you how I feel. Maybe tomorrow I won't love you. But today I do. And since every tomorrow comes today, and I love you today- for me that reality is more than enough and so, I love you!

Silence Yourself ~ a collaboration with Bill Schultz

Silence Yourself
A collaboration with Bill Schultz


In a world of confusion and rage
you will not hear your inner voice chide.
The truth you have lives in a cage,
can you still rise if you don't see a guide?
Share yourself is what you've always tried,
" Share with others", whispered the hard man.
Scared, confused you ask questions like a child,
In Holy quiet, blend and understand

Meeting an accident

I remember reading once, something that goes like, would you do what you are going to do today if you knew this would be your last day on Earth?


Death- I think Steve Jobs hit it right on spot when he said it's the destiny we all share. Even if we know we are going to die, what happens if it's by accident? Unexpected? Sudden? You were just supposed to do something simple and easy that you've done almost all your life and then you meet an accident.. What happens next?


The realization more than ever that life is so dang precious! And the realization that, sometimes, few of us found out that we are not living for ourselves alone. We suddenly thought of our loved ones. What are they going to feel? How much pain would they have to bear of losing you? Some of us are strong enough that we know we never really lose anything or anyone. We carry everything within us. But there are some who will never learn that fact. Some who will have to suffer because of waking up everyday without your physical presence in their lives. Some who will miss your laugh. Those who want to see your crazy antics only you could do best! People who will forever be in love with you and those who will always be loving you.


I just met an accident and I'm fine. But I kinda thought, what would you feel if I suddenly stop messaging you or updating my status or uploading photos or commenting and liking all that you do that connects with my being? And I will never get the chance to tell you I'm dead. And I also told myself why I have forgotten to say how great you are, or that you're beautiful, or handsome or that I love you? Why I just put up everything I have to do believing tomorrow I'd wake up and I could do tomorrow what I've set aside today?


(My neck still hurts, but I think I'm good, headache attacks!!)

But this kinda shake me big time! Not all will read this, but, if you could read this, then probably you really do pay attention into what I say or do. I don't measure or base our friendship through this blog and you reading this... But.... If you could read this, then you probably are interested to what is going on in my mind, my heart and my life and that put a smile on my face. (for those who will never get the chance to read this, oh just let it go.)


If I knew I'm going to die today I would still freakinly go online. Message each and everyone of you. And tell you how much you touched my life. And the remaining, I'm going to spend with my family that are within my reach. Those who can be grasp by my tiny, thin arms and give them the biggest hugs. I'm going to start and end that big hug around Vochelle. Teee hee hee! Much love :)) what I really wanted to say I that, I love you! And I kinda hate myself for passing today into not telling you about it. And that you're an awesome person I am lucky to know. Thank you! Your existence in my life is highly appreciated and will always be remembered. <3 yeah, just want everything covered 'cause accidents are unexpected.

If It Is Meant To Be

What's meant to be always find it's way...

I've always believed that destiny is just an excuse of letting things happen instead of making things happen. But now I don't! Lol! ( okay, being the stubborn me, I would every now and then try to 'force' things my way. Not a good idea always! Lol!)

About seven years ago, I broke up with a good guy. It was my fault. I just left him hanging in there. It was terrible as my heart wanted to sail to the unknown. I was stubborn and inconsiderate. I am impulsive and very reactive. I left without letting him know.


A few days or a week, I received a call from my mom saying this guy had committed a suicide and the mom was asking my mom if she knows why. The guy was in a coma. I was, back then, shaking! I have no idea! I have no idea! I have no idea! Yes! I was soo shocked that I really wanted to come back home. But my friend insisted on to just let it go and what would I do if I am back? I will just be hated anyway! (yeah, yeah, I was like heartless!) He was able to survive and was able to contact my mom. My mom told him to just forget about me 'cause he deserves someone better. And I know he was able to rise above it and get well, but I don't have the heart yet to tell him I was sorry. when I had established myself, like a place to stay, foods, etc. I tried to contact him. No luck. I asked my mom to contact him and tell him I'm sorry. But the number wasn't active anymore. I tried and tried and kept on going back to this friendster account hoping I'd see him. I really wanted to say sorry. But I had no luck. I even searched for him on fb. It took me years to finally stopped and just let things go...


Until one day, someone sent a friend request to me. And he introduced himself. What's even silly is that he just saw my comment from one of the people who is my friend from which he was subscribed to. It was him!!! Oh my goodness!!! It was him! And I don't know how! I don't know how to react! First thing was first. Asked each other how each other had been. And a few more catch ups. And my apologies.


It was like magic! By God's grace through God's perfect time! PERFECT!!!!! I also believe if I had met up with him earlier, I would just cause a lot of hurt on him. Thank goodness that I think God knows I am not capable of hurting this person anymore in anyway. And so, even when I haven't done anything, it just happened! Right before my very eyes, in a day like any other day, an ordinary day. A miracle happened! ( though you and my life is already a miracle in itself) And I don't know what to make up with that but---- God is good!


We do not talk anymore and I feel I could die without any regret for I was able to say my heartfelt apology to this person. But, I am living and that proves I still have a lot of learning to do. I only wish he could find the loveliest girl for him. The one he so rightfully deserves.


In God's perfect time, what's meant to be will always have it's way. And if it's not happening any moment right now-- appreciate the things, people and events this very moment for they could even be greater than the one you wished for. Remember, God knows what we need, he hears what we want, but always delivers what's best for us. <3

P.S.
Having said everything that I have said, also know this is not to tell you that you should just wait and let things happen. (lazy) No! There are those that you can make things happen! You must know when to draw the line. (wisdom and courage)
<3 <3 <3

Child

( For parents - it is very tempting that sometimes we wish we could take all the suffering this world has to offer for our children. If we could, we would definitely do it! But we know that isn't a loving thing to do to our children, for our children by a loving parent. And so we let them learn. ( plus, we really can't do it all the time, lol!) But still, there will always be an enormous shield of love to protect them.)


Child,

When you were born,
your presence was adorned
by your lover, your mother
The one who cared and took over!


Wells in her eyes are overflowing!
For she could no longer contain
the deepest joy from her heart,
drowning in all the pains of her life!


You could turn her into an instant freak,
Or give her an absolute happiness in a quick!
You could make her bend in any form you please,
Still she doesn't mind, if that means to watch you in a bliss!


And she never gets tired, but would sometimes get mad.
But a smile from you, would make her feel glad!
And she never complains, if loving you is the case.
For your mother is a lover that loves relentlessly in any phase!


And so child,
doubt whom you will,
but not your Mom who feels
your pain ten times more than you!


Not the mother who,
would always hold you ever gently,
enveloped with unconditional love,
and surrounded by tender care.


All the pains this world has to offer?
Your mom will always gets you cover!
Drifts of happiness by your existence,
flowing in her heart without resistance!


And child,
though your mother is a worrier,
she is also a warrior! And her life for you, she'll submit.
'Cause on loving you, she fully commits!


Child,

For your mother,
You are priceless like none other!
You are her Heaven here on Earth!
And it will stay like that forever!

An Ending I Did Not Expect

"I'm not going there to die, I'm going to find out if I'm alive."

These words had wrecked me, completely. (in a good way of course!) sometimes we fail to ask ourselves or to even bother to know ourselves. What makes us come alive? Do we know? And if we do, are we doing it?


I am not someone who would say, if you're living your life or not. But, with God's grace I have been living the life that I need to be living. Through faith unto Him, I have humbly learned that if i have got no control over the turning of events in my life, then He is absolutely taking care of it all! And it weakens me, to my knees , that I have got someone who's taking care of the bigger business in my life, for me. And the feeling of submission unto Him, I feel like enveloped in a warm cloth, held so ever gently. And I have never been more sure in my life, than that of the feelings that I felt. That I am safe, and loved. That I am fully covered by His grace. By His unbridled mercy. By His unconditional love. And it brings joy to my very core, to every fiber of my being, that I am always where I should be.


And if you ever asked me again if I'm living the life of my dreams? No! if you were to ask me a year ago. But, today? I am living in it! No, not just living in it, I have also live my life. More than I could ever dare to dream of! With bonuses and interests that I don't know where came from! Lol!


And ever since that liberating event in my life, I have been thanking Him silently, quietly, no one could ever hear how grateful I am, but Him from the whispers of my heart. But today, I wanna take this small space to thank God, for everything. Even the smallest particle in my body have learned to adore the Lover that loves relentlessly!
And every moment spent unto Him is a moment of eternal love from a Parent to His child.


And because of this, of the overflowing love I have unto Him, I know I am alive! And because of this I also learned that.... I will have to respectfully disagree with the quote above... I have gone out too, yes! but the place where I have found out that I am alive is in me, within me. Because I know that God is at the very center of my being! And that's what makes me come alive! The love within me. The unconditional self-love.......

And the Divine love! <3

You Are The Miracle

You Are The Miracle

You said,
It's getting harder for you to breath.
You wished you could just take a leap,
but still it terrifies you to fall in the deep.

And I was thinking,
We are always where we should be.
And that life unfolds perfectly
And you have to live this life to see
that...


You are a miracle!
Joy in a bundle
with a heart that sparkle
and a smile that could cuddle
the world, or a part of it
it doesn't matter! For you alone
is a miracle on your own!
And though there are things
that you could never learn
to leave behind or grow apart.
People you will always
hold on, let go, laugh with
or cry over, your eyes
will continue to shine. It will
never stop for God is always
for you, not against.
Not because, but in spite of you.
The only One who can
capture the whole of you
You are the miracle!
Yes, you are!
Light of the oracle
there's no obstacle
that you can't handle
'cause you are always
in God's mighty cradle!

Jazz

You said "step in and shine for with a love like yours, you'll be able to change lives..."


I can't thank you enough
No, the words in the world
are not enough
To thank you enough

Back then, I don't know you
Your name or your gender
But I feel you and I think,
that's more than enough

I feel you every time you speak
I feel my emotion's at it's peak
For you've created a space I can relate
Yes, I'm one with you, I can't debate


I don't know how it happens
But my heart you always brightens
Whenever I want to hide and cover up
Your words, like enchanting magic comes up


And then I feel you again
Like you have taken this body
Out of this restless lady
And light shines all suddenly!


And I'm back on my feet
This time you won't let me sit
You said, "step, step on it
'cause you're ready for it!"


So slowly, gently, I'll submit
Bravely step up and commit
For with a heart like yours
I'm inspire to open doors

Fly

FLY

I want to walk in the unknown
To experience how much my lungs,
Craves for the taste of fresh air!
I want to come to you, knowing I have flown!


I want to feel the snowflakes
As it gently falls all over me
I want my eyes to see it's not fake
And through my palms, I wanna take


I want to fly in the Autumn
And see how the trees set
For they marvelously imitate,
The wondrous colors of the sunset!


I want to stop by in Spring
And be amazed by the blooms it bring!
I want to smell the air at this time
And if I could, I'd definitely bring with mine!


And how about the summer scent?
Yes! I love it like it's heaven sent!
The rays you could wear as garment!
And it warmly smiles like your parent!


I want to fly in the unknown!
And by means of everything, be blown!
I want to witness, my life has never shown!
And I will do it, at the breaking of this new dawn!

I Remember You

Just before I close my eyes
Something here in my heart lies
Memories of you that never dies
Now my mind wander and flies


Back to the days of laughter
Down to the nights of thunder
As we travel each other's life's trailer
I hear you clearer, feel you nearer


And I wonder how we lose sight
When we never really care who's right
I'd travel faster than the speed of light
Just to have that one moment when everything's at it's height


(Just before I close my eyes
Something in my heart lies)

I remember you, the gentle you
I thought of you, the clever you
I missed you, the funny you
I love you, the soul in you


(Memories of you that never dies
Now my mind wander and flies)

Standing at the edge of the earth
Patiently waiting for a rebirth
Even if it took a thousand years
I firmly believe Love and Destiny hears..


So, slowly, happily I'll close my eyes
And when I go outside the common of dreams
I will sure to meet you in that field
A place where you and I could both live.....
And never will I remember you again,
For never will we, ever part again...


Photo credit: Boyet Avila

Lost For Words Again

And I stare at the moon,
It's full moon, in full bloom
And I wonder if you could see it?
Round and bright
Just how I see it!


And suddenly I felt nostalgic
How we've crossed paths was like magic
Your words have become my music
And I know our connection will be classic


You are the silent one; and on the screaming side, I'm fond
You always answer with a short smile; and I answer in miles
You would scold me; and I'd rebel by answering boldly


Though I am warmly held with silk from another lifetime
And You're someone I can never touch bcoz you're so near
Yet far enough that I can't see and hear
I want you to know these feelings are real;


That I love you!
That there is something about this relationship
That I can not put into words no matter how the feelings shift
And so I don't know if I'm expressing enough
My joy in celebrating your existence in my life
But I love you!


So a lifetime isn't enough for thanking you
I'd like to save forever for you

The kind that Let things Be
The one that is not attached
Yet love each other so much

The kind that would always bind us
Like the brightness of the day as to the darkest of the night

By the time I am finished with what I have to say
A new day is on it's way
For the sun is waving it's ray
A new beginning it lays

And then I'm lost for words again
Maybe, all of my feelings, one day
For you, I'd be able to express all away!


Photo credit: Boyet Avila

would you believe me if i tell you a secret?

Man in my Life

To the guy whom I know and I will put everything I've got for he'll always have my back no matter what- love you!

I am still amazed of how we've grown so much. From always arguing with each other to now agreeing with each other. For being my first enemy to now being my strongest ally. The only man I know who never told me I'm beautiful. The only man I know who just know how to beat the crap out of me. Who say things that I can't even choke up, but I laughed at it coz you're so funny when you're trying to scold me. Or say my reality as how you see it. And bcoz most of the times it's true, I don't argue with you. (okay I kept on explaining why I'm right?) haha!

I don't think I've ever stretched enough how much I love you. But I love you in my own little sarcastic ways-which you probably won't notice. I love you in my own annoying words-in which by the way, you get really annoyed. But that's how I get you! That's how I can be sure you'll answer me back. I never cared much about hurting your feelings,nor do you. I don't do it on purpose, neither do you. Sorry, is a word we don't use. We don't do it! We don't also use love. But, we both know when the heart is sorry, coz our hearts felt love.

Through the years of growing together and growing apart, I think you are absolutely the gorgeous man ever lived! (how about Patrick Dempsey? Lol!) In my eyes, I'll never love a man like I love you! Coz in my life, there will never be someone like you! Someone who can get under my skin, but never needed the word sorry to make me feel better. Someone who always say I look horrible and that's just the word I needed to make me feel I'm pretty good. Someone who supports my crazy little ideas by discouraging me first and telling me to do it anyway. Great! And someone whom I'll never have anything soo good to say about, but I would certainly give everything I've got! This is my man. This is my brother! And I love him like freakinly, horribly bad? Lol! I love him like heck!

Much love :')

Photo credit: Boyet Avila

do you see a ghost?

 

The Painting

Last night, I told someone my life has breathed easier bcoz that person is living.

To you,
I'm sorry that i never get tired of telling you how much you inspire me. I'm sorry that I can't help always admiring what you do, what you say, bcoz you are absolutely a stunning star! I'm sorry that time and time again you blew me away. I'm sorry that you can't do anything about how I feel, and no matter what you think you'll always be that soul I'll always look back to have a glance and forward to look ahead of my time.
I'm sorry for hurting you.

I've never wanted so much in my life. But everytime I'd look at this person I kinda tell myself, is there a person whose life breathed easier bcoz I've lived? Being a blessing to someone's life everyday even when I'm living in my own truth? That's just too unimaginable! But this person makes it so damn easy! Okay, maybe you're having tough times too, but you're rising above it everytime! And that's just freakinly awesome!

Ages ago, you've invested in me everything that is loving, selfless, full of joy... Everything you've learned in life you gave/taught me generously and bravely. It might be too much to say that everything I am right now is all bcoz of you, but a large part of me, where love, self-love, giving, etc. Is really in reality all bcoz of you.

Someday, one day, I'd still want to be friends with you. I'd still want to see how you'd grow to be that feisty but soft person I used to know. I'd still think you're the greatest! I'd still think you're ageless! I'd still think in my life- there'll be no one absolutely like you! By thinking that alone-it makes me want to jump out on the couch.

"By the sea, with forest behind it for you in a place between our countries. And you can meet me there later in life. And you can take photos and I can paint." -- the most beautiful painting I've never laid my eyes on. But my heart has seen a thousand times!

Thank You

Do you have people in your life that when you read the message below you kinda think of them?


Thank you! For being such a good person, friend and family to me that what you learned, you taught me generously. You gave me soo many advices when in fact the problem was one and only one to begin with. You never get tired of listening to my own dose of drama. You always give back more than I could give you. I don't know how well to appreciate someone in my life that is soo good, I feel like I'll always be too lucky for meeting you. Thank you for letting me be me. That even knowing how worse I could get you still show compassion and understanding and caring towards me.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to express enough my celebration of knowing you. The very fact of your existence amazed me. (okay, thats just too much! Lol!) Seriously, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes and see someone who is good, understanding, compassionate, caring, a healer, and all that and more! I honestly think my eyes would be too small to hold such qualities too! So look quickly! Haha! :P thank you for cracking a joke that's just too funny, I could just die laughing. Lol!
Thank you for coming into my life and though we both know everything changes, and our friendship may change, we agree that what we share are real. And we may grow apart one day, but we carry everything within us.


And to my friends who can read this; yes, I'll never run out of people to thank in my entire life! Coz my life alone is such a wonder that I don't know if i am thanking God enough for it! But i give Him my gratitude anyway. The very breath I take right now is a miracle!
What i do know is try thanking the people who've made my life so amazingly blessed and wonderful coz they are in it. Who captivated a part of me, for which they'll always hold. Who blew me away, for which a part of me will always be with them. And yes, my life isn't perfect it's just like you and all the others. But look around. Look at the people around you and you'll realized how lucky, miraculous, joyful life can be. Get pass over the negativity. Rise above it, and start thanking those people of whom existence in your life is such a wonder! Of whose presence would always be a daily living miracle!
Much love :)

Thank You!

Photo credit: Boyet Avila

excruciatingly tired!!! need not put this on fb coz, i feel really lost on this one. dang!

If your heart can keep you safe..

I was talking to a friend and this gave me an idea what to write today.

How many of us really wanted an approval from the people we care about? A nod, a hug, a tap in the back, a 'hey! That's great' and all those approving words and gestures? And everything's- gonna- be- alright-kinda thing for us? Why do we do that? Why do we want an approval? Why do we need validation from others? (mind you, I am like this too. Ha!)

Through this journey what I've always bear in mind, wherever life may take me, whomever I meet along the way and whatever happens, I don't need to prove other people's choices are wrong just so I can believe in my chosen choice. But having said that, be absolutely confident and sure that, Your Heart Can Keep You Safe. Coz, frankly speaking, it isn't easy to go against the grain. When the people you care about tells you and expects you to do things their way and you've done that like almost all your life- it's gonna be one hard task for you. Can your heart take it?
But you know the price?
You gain back that self-love. You gain back that freedom you're on the brink of losing. You gain back the You! You finally found out for such a long, freakin' hard time who's got your back no matter what! Who just accepts you unconditionally bcoz you are you and not bcoz you're like their dummy following their ways.

Be yourself! By now, we're too mature enough to realized that not everyone around us will understand and accept us. Not everyone we care about will care to us the way we want them too. But heck on that! We've got everything we will ever need within ourselves! The greatest relationship we will ever meet is our relationship within ourselves. Thank God/That Which Is Divine/All That There Is that we are created as A Whole! We are not incomplete without our spouses, mother, father, children, siblings, loved ones etc. bcoz we've always been complete! We complete ourselves! That's just maybe a bit hard to understand but God is so good, everything we will ever need is within us!

I am not saying hate the people who can not accept the real you. Or forget them. I personally think, The truth is when people kept on holding on you even after you've become the real you is either they truly love you, or they were really crying for help. Listen with your heart. There's a reason why people are in your life. You can help them, try to understand them, but Never live your life according to their terms. For their own life is their own responsibility, same as yours. Understand that we are all here to learn our individual lessons. What I'm trying to say is, you can be yourself, say what you want, do what you want and still be in the company of them. Isn't that what being at peace is all about? (at peace within one's self) be in the middle of a chaos/people who disapprove of what you do,events that don't seem to go your way, but still kept stillness inside? Much love ;)

Everything Happens For A Reason

A moment in your life when you are just sitting quietly in a place surrounded by plants, flowers and trees. The clouds are getting darker. The atmosphere suddenly changed. The wind is blowing, and it's a bit cold. The scent of the air from the whistling sound of the trees through the kiss from the wind, so fresh! I can smell it. Goodness, my lungs feel good for once! My hair can hear it and is dancing with the tune. And before I realize it, the rain begins to fall. Raining down on all. Giving life to where it touches. Showering the plants from the dust. Clearing the air from the pollution. And I sit down. Watch the rain as it gracefully executes the job.

One of the quote I live by is the," everything happens for a reason." really and seriously, you've got to agree with me on this one. When we lose something/someone, we gain another. Life plays beautifully! Gratitude for the life you have now. Gratitude to God for believing in you that you are strong enough to live this life. Gratitude for everything that had happened and is happening and will happen for these will all mold you to a better you and just bcoz you have faith that everything happens according to His will/to That Which Is Divine.

So if you're experiencing a struggle right now, know that this too shall pass. And if bad things come in three, so do Good. At times, when we have done so much to water our grass, the rain has to step in, (all the while we thought it's bad and asked why when we're doing everything we can) do it's job and after the rain, look again. See? The grass is greener and cleaner on your side now. Sometimes we just gotta have that Faith.. That everything will work out. As Marilyn once said, which was similarly close or even one with the quote above, " good things fall apart, so better things can fall together." but know that it's not just a quote it's a truth we all share. We will never realized and understand something that is taking place in our lives (specially the complex ones) for the moment, but just Live. Trust. Breath. Love. Continue to move forward holding that faith closely in your heart and soul and when you feel like you have overcome the situation, look again.(even Steve Jobs would agree with me. Lol!) This time with a clean heart and a mind full of understanding. And you will have a better judgment why things happened the way they did. And seriously, what could be more liberating than being able to understand your own life? For when you can understand you, you can understand others. For we are all one. Much love ;)

Photo credit: Boyet Avila ( again stolen. Wasn't able to upload photos yesterday. Ha!)

Forgiveness...

How do you love yourself? I mean how much do you love yourself? What is it about you that is stopping you from loving yourself unconditionally? Why can't you just give in to that unconditional self love that would free
you from all the suffering of the people who have hurt you/ you've hurt or of the past that continually haunt you? Or of the future that terrifies you? Or of the now that you can not even start living bcoz you do not love yourself enough?

Inner self-forgiveness. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness. Sometimes when other people commit mistakes on us we can easily forgive them. But when we are on the culprit side of things, we can not immediately forgive ourselves. Why??? Why can we easily forgive others, but ourselves- no way? Have we put ourselves on a pedestal that we are not supposed to do any wrong? How can we highly think of ourselves to the extent that we can not forgive ourselves' shortcomings? And how can we just look at others just like that and think what they've done is forgivable bcoz they are not you? Never look down on anyone, unless you are going to help them. Whatever happened to the, "we are all one"? And that we are all created uniquely Equal?

There is one person that really helped me so much and is still helping me through every steps. I know the steps are mine to take. This person can only say so much, but whatever it is I say or do--will always be on my account. Even if i love or hurt myself in the process, it is still my call. But, I'd always choose to forgive myself, bcoz if I can't, who will? Of course, I'm not saying it's that easy specially if you've hurt the ones you love, but goodness!!! You are worth it anyway!

What I'm trying to say is, it isn't bad to forgive yourself even when others can not forgive and forget. It isn't selfishness. Bcoz I believe that people will hurt us, one way or another. We just really gotta choose who are worthy of our suffering. I mean nobody's perfect. We are not without flaws either. But if we will never love ourselves unconditionally, without reserve, who will? Everything starts from us. We can not be unconditional to others, unless we are to ourselves. And when we have it, bear in mind that we have to give it, to keep it.

Forgiveness is the best form of healing, there ever was. I can be a witness to that!
Much love *_~

Photo credit: Boyet Avila ( yep! I stole this from my brother! Hik! Hik!)

Fear is a question: what are you afraid of and why?

"Fear is a question. What are you afraid of and why?...."

Hey you know I was wondering, yes my mind is always wondering/wandering that's why good thing I've got a blog. Coz I can write here like my diary. Haha!

Will we still be friends/ brothers and sisters, weeks/months/year/years from now? Coz you know I also believe that nothing lasts forever. And the only thing I can be certain about is that change will always come and always possible and will always come within us.

So, maybe one of the things I am most afraid of is letting go of the people I hold dear to my heart. I could just hold on to them as long as I can, without the plans of letting go. Maybe one of the things I am most afraid of is to realize that things/events/people in my life are changing rapidly that I can not catch up. No matter how hard I try to chase them, they'll always be like rainbows. I can see them, they can make me feel something but it doesn't lead directly to them anymore. It now leads to nowhere.

So, what do I do when fear rear it's ugly head before me? I speak to it. Tell to it that yes, sometimes I am afraid of the things I get used to. Of the people I have come to love with all my heart and soul, of the places that brings so many good-ol'-memories. But what can I do? Life still goes on. The earth won't stop revolving around the sun just bcoz I'm sad/grieving/in denial/scared/angry/etc. So, I say to myself, keep walking. Have faith, the kind that makes you take a step at a time even when you don't know where on earth it's gonna lead you. The kind that makes you feel you are always where you are supposed to be. The kind that makes you let go and let God.

For now, the only thing I try to do is to never waste an opportunity to tell my loved ones how much I love them. To give an encouraging words to someone bcoz I know words can be sacred. I've known people who makes me a better me just bcoz of the words they gave me. When you are into writing, words mean more than just words. Words are a part of you, so I try as softly and gently as I can to speak of it with love. A simple act of kindness can lead to so many great things to someone. And always remember, we are all one. One love. And love is that feeling/emotion that I'll keep giving one more chance and always one more chance-always!!!! When you feel like you have given so much, give some more.

"Fear is a question: What are you afraid of, and why? Just as the seed of health is in illness, because illness contains information, our fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if we explore them."--Marilyn Ferguson

360 degrees of inspiration

"~ There is a huge difference between being humble and devaluing yourself. I am always amazed when I hear I am "just"…. as if "just" was not enough or it is defining. I hear " I am just a Mom, a cab driver, an office worker, a sales person, a this or a that"… Stop. Look again, there is value in all you do. Services rendered may not always be met with outward gratitude yet if you can remember all actions are truly important… it enables you to give credence to yourself as well as others feeling the same way..Even in the mundane… there is honor. If you don't do it, who will?"

i have said this, for like a million times, but i'll say it again anyway. i love my friends, and if you could read this, count yorself in. i couldn't stress enough how fortunate i am for knowing you. i couldn't always tell you that i hold each and everyone of you close in my heart. that there are the 'you' that always seems to blew me away. that there are the 'you' that differs from all the rest that you stand out on your own. and i want you to believe in the power of the beauty within that 'you', coz from where i am looking right now, you all shine your brightest light. much love

if you can not be the poet, be the poem.

a place where you and I could both meet: i made this photo for my childhood friend. i just ...

a place where you and I could both meet: i made this photo for my childhood friend. i just ...: i made this photo for my childhood friend. i just love her! she is a sweetheart !